Wait
--Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Sunday, June 27, 2004
A Poem from the Book "Purpose Driven Life"
You Are Not an Accident
--Russell Kelfer
You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You are a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You are just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
--Russell Kelfer
You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You are a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You are just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
Friday, June 25, 2004
A long break with my dear BLOG
Dear blog, I am sorry that I forgot to pour water for you for a long time. It's not because you are not lovely anymore, it's due to my grey feeling these days. I could not be as active as usual in the past a few days, and I even thought the God blocked his ears in front of me. I really want to be a lovely and responsible one to all the people around me like the God, work hard to glorify him, however, I am not capable enough. I especially noticed my personal limitation and shortcomings these days, greedy and lazy, proud and boastful. It's me? Sigh... unbelievable, but it's true. God, please give me enough encouragement and energy to get rid of those unpleasant spots. I don't want to be perfect as you, but I, myself even hate those behaviors. How can I treat everyone fairly? How can I only seek for truth, but no luxaries any more? Am I an ideal girl? Please give me a solution, since sometimes, I am worried about the big difference between the real world and the purified one described in the Bible.
However, I want to show my thankful heart to you too. I chatted with my elder cousin Yan Yan JJ this week. We two are quite similar with each other, with a changeable mind, a good appearance and figure from others' eyes, popular but always fail in the love issue, independent but fragile at the same time. She told me that she was so moved that she could not help bursting into tears when reading the Bible! She said she was a stubborn kid of the God, but she never gave up, 'coz she's quite certain that the God loves us! I was very moved by the words and I am nearly in the same situation. Many times, I struggled with myself, wanted to throw away the reputation, the wealth, the position and many other things to follow the God, to seek for the truth. But I am really weak compared with many other brothers and sisters. I feel shy for that... Dear Father, if you are listenning to my prayer, please help me.
However, I want to show my thankful heart to you too. I chatted with my elder cousin Yan Yan JJ this week. We two are quite similar with each other, with a changeable mind, a good appearance and figure from others' eyes, popular but always fail in the love issue, independent but fragile at the same time. She told me that she was so moved that she could not help bursting into tears when reading the Bible! She said she was a stubborn kid of the God, but she never gave up, 'coz she's quite certain that the God loves us! I was very moved by the words and I am nearly in the same situation. Many times, I struggled with myself, wanted to throw away the reputation, the wealth, the position and many other things to follow the God, to seek for the truth. But I am really weak compared with many other brothers and sisters. I feel shy for that... Dear Father, if you are listenning to my prayer, please help me.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Troy
I didn't write a diary yesterday, maybe 'coz of the touching movie called "Troy" stimulated me to think a lot last night. "An eny for an eye, a tooth for a tooth ends up making the whole world blind." --- a parable reveals the core of the story. The heroes of the two parties in the Greece-Troy war respected and appreciated each other, but they could not end up the war until one party's failure. They were wise and powerful men, but they were filled with vengeful soul to defeat the other. I like the king and the elder prince of Troy most, 'coz they had much more righteous behavior. How to love your enemy? The king gives us a good example. How to be a leader and love your people? The elder prince showed a positive image and he's like a master in a servant manner. Unfortunately, all of them became the scapegoat of the unrighteous desire from the king of Greece. It's not only a sadness for the Troy and ppl living in that age, but also for the ppl in modern times. We have seen the history and also the tragedy leading by the sin, but we keep on doing the same thing day after day.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Finish Programming Task! =D
At last, I finished the database programming task, ha... It's so great that I can go to Beijing without any anxiety and even go to watch the movie called "Troy" this afternoon! It seems everything is perfect until now. Thanks to the God's blessing~
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Going back to Beijing :)
今日はついてるなあ。My supervisor told me that I could go back to Beijing for the conference and a project with the logistics association! Ha... It's like the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to the God and the prayer is coming true! ^^
I read one paragraph from the Bible today:
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
It's from Matthew. These days, I felt a little bored to read the same scriptures in the Bible again and again. Whenever I read the scriptures that I had a vague memory, I skipped it quickly and always wanted to get to know something new. Now, I notice how superficial I am! It's true that I've read the same scripture, but could I behave like that? Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Said easier than done! I used to like the fiction "The Count of Monte Cristo" very much, 'coz I appreciated his revengeful spirit. However, now, I have to admit "love the enemy" is much harder and better than "revenge". It's hard for me to love those who are not lovely, thus it's even harder for me to love my enemies, even though I don't have any so called "enemy" until now. Well, maybe the first step for me is to say "hi" and show my smiling face to those who I don't have a very good impression. Please help me to overcome this barrier, dear Father!
I read one paragraph from the Bible today:
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
It's from Matthew. These days, I felt a little bored to read the same scriptures in the Bible again and again. Whenever I read the scriptures that I had a vague memory, I skipped it quickly and always wanted to get to know something new. Now, I notice how superficial I am! It's true that I've read the same scripture, but could I behave like that? Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Said easier than done! I used to like the fiction "The Count of Monte Cristo" very much, 'coz I appreciated his revengeful spirit. However, now, I have to admit "love the enemy" is much harder and better than "revenge". It's hard for me to love those who are not lovely, thus it's even harder for me to love my enemies, even though I don't have any so called "enemy" until now. Well, maybe the first step for me is to say "hi" and show my smiling face to those who I don't have a very good impression. Please help me to overcome this barrier, dear Father!
Sunday, June 13, 2004
The Heart's Choice
John Blanchard stood up from the bench straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. Interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes pencilled in the margin.
The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II.
During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt
that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00PM at the Grand Central Station in New York.
"You'll recognise me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel. "So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor? "she murmured.
Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had greying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her grey eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate.
My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.
"I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"
The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about son, "she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."
The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II.
During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt
that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00PM at the Grand Central Station in New York.
"You'll recognise me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel. "So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen. I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor? "she murmured.
Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had greying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her grey eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate.
My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.
"I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"
The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about son, "she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."
The Beatitudes 山上の教え
1. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
2. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
3. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
5. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
6. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
7. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
8. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kindom of heaven.
1. 心の貧しさを知る謙そんな人は幸福です。天国はそういう人に与えられるからです。
2. 悲しみ嘆いている人は幸福です。そういう人は慰められるからです。
3. 柔和で高ぶらない人は幸福です。全世界はそういう人のものになるからです。
4. 神の前に、正しく良い者になりたいと心から願っている人は幸福です。そういう人の願いは完全にかなえられるからです。
5. 親切であわれみ深い人は幸福です。そういう人はあわれみを受けるからです。
6. 心のきよい人は幸福です。そういう人は親しく神とお会いできるからです。
7. 平和をつくり出そうとしている人は幸福です。 そういう人は神の子供と呼ばれるからです。
8. 正しい者だというので迫害されている人は幸福です。天国はそういう人のものだからです。
2. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
3. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
5. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
6. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
7. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
8. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kindom of heaven.
1. 心の貧しさを知る謙そんな人は幸福です。天国はそういう人に与えられるからです。
2. 悲しみ嘆いている人は幸福です。そういう人は慰められるからです。
3. 柔和で高ぶらない人は幸福です。全世界はそういう人のものになるからです。
4. 神の前に、正しく良い者になりたいと心から願っている人は幸福です。そういう人の願いは完全にかなえられるからです。
5. 親切であわれみ深い人は幸福です。そういう人はあわれみを受けるからです。
6. 心のきよい人は幸福です。そういう人は親しく神とお会いできるからです。
7. 平和をつくり出そうとしている人は幸福です。 そういう人は神の子供と呼ばれるからです。
8. 正しい者だというので迫害されている人は幸福です。天国はそういう人のものだからです。
Sunday Morning & Russell's Prologue
It's a sunny and windy day today. After the worship in our church, in order to keep today's sunshine permanently in my album, I went to capture the charming corners on campus. I like the crossing feel formed by the bright light and the dark shadow.
.
It's only a dilettante pic taken by a common Panasonic camera, however, the natural radiating effect is quite attractive in my opinion. When I was appreciating the pic, I suddenly thought about a discussion between a friend and me on the meaning of life. He recommended the prologue written by Russell to me and I also like this short article very much. Although we have different religion beliefs, but we have at least one thing in common ---- longing for the love. Originally, I thought love's a kinda of high level feeling or interation which should only exist between human-beings. After the capturing process, I found that I ignored something important for a long time. Three passions mentioned in Russell's prologue can be classified into one root: LOVE again. Search for knowledge and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind also represent the love but to different objects.
I guess it's time for me to listen to the sound from the sapience crystal --- DOING MY RESEARCH. :)
------Bertrand Russell
Three passions,simple but overwhelmingly strong,have governed
my life:the longing for love,the search for knowledge,and unbearable
pity for the suffering of mankind.These passions,like great winds,have
blown me hither and thither,in a wayward course,over a deep ocean of
anguish,reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love,first,because it brings ecstasy--ecstasy so
great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a
few hours of this joy.I have sought it,next,because it relieves
loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering
consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold
unfathomable lifeless abyss.I have sought it,finally,because in the
union of love I have seen,in a mystic miniature,the prefiguring
vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.This is
what I sought,and though it might seem too good for human life,
this is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.I have wished to
understand the hearts of men.I have wished to know why the stars
shine.And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which
number holds sway above the flux.A little of this,but not much,I
have achieved.
Love and knowledge,so far as they were possible,led upward
toward the heavens.But always pity brought me back to earth.Echoes
of cries of pain reverberate in my heart.Children in famine,victims
tortured by oppressors,helpless old people a hated burden to their
sons,and the whole world of loneliness,poverty,and pain make a
mockery of what human life should be.I long to alleviate the evil,
but I can't ,and I too suffer.
This has been my life.I have found it worth living,and would
gladly live itagain if the chance were offered me.
NOTE:This is the prologue of Russell's autobiography.
.
It's only a dilettante pic taken by a common Panasonic camera, however, the natural radiating effect is quite attractive in my opinion. When I was appreciating the pic, I suddenly thought about a discussion between a friend and me on the meaning of life. He recommended the prologue written by Russell to me and I also like this short article very much. Although we have different religion beliefs, but we have at least one thing in common ---- longing for the love. Originally, I thought love's a kinda of high level feeling or interation which should only exist between human-beings. After the capturing process, I found that I ignored something important for a long time. Three passions mentioned in Russell's prologue can be classified into one root: LOVE again. Search for knowledge and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind also represent the love but to different objects.
I guess it's time for me to listen to the sound from the sapience crystal --- DOING MY RESEARCH. :)
What I have Lived For
------Bertrand Russell
Three passions,simple but overwhelmingly strong,have governed
my life:the longing for love,the search for knowledge,and unbearable
pity for the suffering of mankind.These passions,like great winds,have
blown me hither and thither,in a wayward course,over a deep ocean of
anguish,reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love,first,because it brings ecstasy--ecstasy so
great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a
few hours of this joy.I have sought it,next,because it relieves
loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering
consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold
unfathomable lifeless abyss.I have sought it,finally,because in the
union of love I have seen,in a mystic miniature,the prefiguring
vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined.This is
what I sought,and though it might seem too good for human life,
this is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.I have wished to
understand the hearts of men.I have wished to know why the stars
shine.And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which
number holds sway above the flux.A little of this,but not much,I
have achieved.
Love and knowledge,so far as they were possible,led upward
toward the heavens.But always pity brought me back to earth.Echoes
of cries of pain reverberate in my heart.Children in famine,victims
tortured by oppressors,helpless old people a hated burden to their
sons,and the whole world of loneliness,poverty,and pain make a
mockery of what human life should be.I long to alleviate the evil,
but I can't ,and I too suffer.
This has been my life.I have found it worth living,and would
gladly live itagain if the chance were offered me.
NOTE:This is the prologue of Russell's autobiography.
Edit My Profile
WoW... It seems this blogger site has some bugs and I could not change the details of my profile. The personal pic I posted was just for a temp use, but now, I can not replace it. :( A TOOOOO serious & formal pic, it's not my style. Hmmm... I need to balance the atmosphere in this chamber. Post a witch image taken in the Halloween last year.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Pudding's First Post
After the MC recording in RTHK and the farewell party in Xinjie's home, I returned back to my sweet room. It's a fruitful day indeed, with lots of meaningful activities! Maybe due to the high nutritional food in the dinner, I was not sleepy at all and surfed in the internet aimlessly. "Well... it's a good idea to build up my online diary and share the God's love with my friends." A blog site was suddenly like a shining ball floating in my brain ocean. I discussed a lot with my friends about the meaning of life these days and absorbed many new thinkings from others. I become aware of the importance of frequent communication between friends. Maybe this BLOG page is good starting point~~~ :)
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