Dear blog, I am sorry that I forgot to pour water for you for a long time. It's not because you are not lovely anymore, it's due to my grey feeling these days. I could not be as active as usual in the past a few days, and I even thought the God blocked his ears in front of me. I really want to be a lovely and responsible one to all the people around me like the God, work hard to glorify him, however, I am not capable enough. I especially noticed my personal limitation and shortcomings these days, greedy and lazy, proud and boastful. It's me? Sigh... unbelievable, but it's true. God, please give me enough encouragement and energy to get rid of those unpleasant spots. I don't want to be perfect as you, but I, myself even hate those behaviors. How can I treat everyone fairly? How can I only seek for truth, but no luxaries any more? Am I an ideal girl? Please give me a solution, since sometimes, I am worried about the big difference between the real world and the purified one described in the Bible.
However, I want to show my thankful heart to you too. I chatted with my elder cousin Yan Yan JJ this week. We two are quite similar with each other, with a changeable mind, a good appearance and figure from others' eyes, popular but always fail in the love issue, independent but fragile at the same time. She told me that she was so moved that she could not help bursting into tears when reading the Bible! She said she was a stubborn kid of the God, but she never gave up, 'coz she's quite certain that the God loves us! I was very moved by the words and I am nearly in the same situation. Many times, I struggled with myself, wanted to throw away the reputation, the wealth, the position and many other things to follow the God, to seek for the truth. But I am really weak compared with many other brothers and sisters. I feel shy for that... Dear Father, if you are listenning to my prayer, please help me.
1 comment:
Hi~~ Eagle, thanks for your words. Well, you are totally right and it's no use to spend much time on self-criticizing. However, "Said easier than done", which also reflects the conclusion "No one is perfect". :) I am doing better now and have recovered from the grey status. Hehe... God asked us to be pleasant and thanksgiving all the time on the Bible. I need also follow it, right?
Today I met a girl in our church and we chatted a lot about the painting and literature. She told me her major's in arts and architecture and she was born in London. She described her excited feeling when she was in the UK's art museum, while I am also always touched when I appreciate the art works. As in her eyes, a painting is far beyond a painting itself and I have the same feeling. We made a deal that we will help each other to start drawing oil painting and learning pc graphical design together later. It's great, isn't it?
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